Chronicles of the Over-analytic

It isn’t easy being this awesome

Purpose

I woke up at 3:30 this morning wide awake… why? Of course, I contemplated whether or not to get up or go back to bed. My gorgeous new alarm was set for 5:00, and if I get up now, won’t I just turn to mush this afternoon? Wait, am I always mush anyways? Oh well. I get up and pee and guzzle down a glass of water. I stare into the bathroom mirror. Hideous. Yikes. Better go back to bed.  I slide back into bed and decided that yes, this is a good idea. I like sleep. What am I going to do at 3:30 in the morning anyhow? About two seconds later, my alarm is buzzing and it is 5:00. Only now, I am no longer wide awake, but feel like I have been hit by a bus. An angry bus. WTF? I hit snooze until 6:30. I explain this phenomena to a collegue of mine. Her explination: psychology. I was wide awake only because I didn’t HAVE to get up. However, once it was mandatory, I rebelled. I contimplate this and think yeah, that sounds like it might be true. Right? I tell myself that I don’t HAVE to get up. That this is my decision….it doesn’t work. Because the reality is that I DO have to get up. And then I think about it some more and realize even when I am not required to awake, I still rebel against it, so maybe this theory is crap anyways. Oh well, now it is after seven and I am bloody late so I don’t even care.  I opt out of taking a shower. Is that gross? I mean, I took one yesterday and I don’t feel gross. Yet, if anyone knew I went showerless today, I would most definitely feel gross. I overdose on perfume and run out the door. Ugh, I hate my life. What is with traffic?! There is never traffic, but on the day I am late there is. Figures. In the car I am thinking about a quote I heard. What was it? “Live each day as if it were on purpose.”? I don’t get it. Like you woke up on purpose. I have no purpose. I realize how negative I have been all morning, and I resolve to keep positive. Nobody likes a Negative Nancy. Good thing Im cute. Back to my purpose. What is my purpose today? I must find one…. hmmm. Nothing. I could…go to the gym, but what kind of purpose is that? I mean, who gets out of bed for the sole purpose of going to the gym. Lame. My purpose for today is going to work and being a good employee. Ha! That’s a laugh. Scratch that. Everyone knows I will just sit on the internet all day and accomplish nothing. How about not get irritated or snap at anyone today? Nah, no fun. Well, shit. I drag myself into work, pissed off that I can’t think of a purpose for today when it hits me. My purpose for today is to think of a good purpose for tomorrow. That should work. If I can’t live today on purpose, there is always hope for tomorrow.

January 18, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , | Leave a comment

   

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